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This is where you can find out everything about anything. At least everything I know. :-) |
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AAardvark-- A mythical African creature invented to appease the dictionary gods. Often considered to look much like a long eared pig. True believers will attempt to mislead you into thinking that the mighty aardvark eats termites and ants, while sane people realize that this was only true back before pizza chains had infiltrated sub-saharan Africa. Acronym -- Horrible little creatures created in the depths of
bureaucracy. They should be stomped on wherever possible, in order to limit the breeding population to three letter variants. (People trying to protect this rare breed have led to the overwhelming boom of mutant "long" acronyms.) The USA PATRIOT Act actually stands for something!!!! According to official sources, Alcohol -- The source of most embarrasing situations at work Christmas parties. It is a very durable invention though, it has survived the rise and fall of nearly every major civilization known to history. Likely as the cause of both the rise and fall itself. (Ever been to a large party? It becomes large as people hear about the alcohol, then comes to a crashing halt when the drinks run out.) |
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Antelope Island-- An island located in the Great Salt Lake.
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Armadillo-- An animal native to the America's. In the US they are most commonly found in Texas. These are not a mythical creature, because there are many references to them on television. And no one wants to anger the television gods again. Otherwise they will continue bringing us "reality television". Besides, armadillos have an armor-like outer skin. Which probably means they are closely related to tanks and dinosaurs. With about the same inherent intelligence. For example, this description from the Wikipedia "The North American 9-banded armadillo tends to jump straight in the air when surprised, and consequently often smacks itself into the undercarriage of cars passing over it." There are also claims that armadillo's are used in researching leprosy. That's right animal activists--you were angry about using rabbits to test shampoo, so scientists have now upped the ante. Your move! |
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BBaxter-- A surname generally associated with greatness and empire building. Examples of it's far reaching influence include:
CChevron-- A place you can buy gasoline. Often identified with funny looking "Chevron with Techron" cars. I have a working theory that all Chevron's have free air compressors, so far I have found only one exception in Spanish Fork, Utah. But this particular station is redeemed by the other Chevron station a few miles down the road which does have a free air compressor. There is a long, complicated story behind this entry. In order to hear about it, you will have to send me the "research data" on Chevron stations in your area. Christmas-- The day that Santa Claus brings a travelling BBQ of reindeer meat to every home around the world. Parents trick children into leaving out milk and cookies to lure Santa into the home. While he is busy snacking the parents gorge themselves on delicious, tender reindeer meat. Once Santa realizes his unprotected dinner is going to be consumed, he throws presents at the parents to drive them away from the sleigh. These presents are then used to bribe the children into providing milk and cookies again the next year. The real question here is why Santa has developed such a dangerous cookie addiction?
Cooking -- Something that I have to do because no one will make dinner for me. An excellent way to boost your odds of achieving the elusive "girlfriend" status. | |
DDenmark-- The only country starting with a D that most Americans can name. And don't even try to ask them to locate it on a map.... Dishwasher--Two kinds exist, labor intensive and ineffective. The overworked human kind has been female in recent western culture, unless the husband had done something wrong. As soon as the females figured out how to make the males responsible for the task the automatic dishwasher was invented. This invention also has two subcatagories. The kind that work, which are expensive and quiet. And the kind that come standard in most apartments and homes, which are loud have interesting results. I have dubbed these "catch and release" dishwashers. This sport is a lot like fishing in your own home. You reach into the dishwasher and pull out a prize, while trying to keep your feet dry. Then you inspect your catch. If you are lucky it is a keeper which can be placed in the cupboard. If you are especially unlucky it has somehow magically become dirtier than when you placed it into the dishwasher. These dishes are released back into the dishwasher to see if they can "grow up" into a clean dish someday. Dumbshivers -- This is the feeling you get when someone you know is doing something dumb, embarrassing, or otherwise you wish you could leave, and you can't and everyone knows you are associated with them. (Contributed by Aubreybx) Dericious -- The name of Misty's bike in Japan. For further explanation read through her letters home in the thoughts section. Diamond -- The expensive entry level requirement to marriage. Here is the one I was fortunate enough to purchase, and what it is doing now.... EEaster -- The day we celebrate the birth of an egg laying male rabbit. This would be a relatively unremarkable event, but somehow this rabbit also manages to dye the eggs different colors and place them in trees. The inevitable undiscovered eggs are probably the source of all known jackalope's, but this theory has yet to be proven.Entertainment -- Something that everyone would like to find. It makes us feel happy and alive! There are many places to find such things:
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