Jasonpedia -- Putting funny back in the dictionary! F through J

This is where you can find out everything about anything. At least everything I know. :-)

AE | FJ | KO | PT | UZ |

F

Firefox-- An internet browser. One of several competitors against the evil Microsoft giant. If you would like more information on how you can slow down Bill Gates eventual ability to just purchase the entire earth, go find out more here....

Fluckiger-- 1. The funniest sounding name I have heard all day. Everyone laugh along with me! 2. The surname of our director of chinese translation. That's right Jacob, we are falling behind in our market share in the Far East!!!! I may have to fire you if you don't get to work immediately. I am never going to achieve world domination if most of the world's population can't read the memo!!

G

Girlfriend-- This is a long, complicated, and expensive topic which is best avoided at all costs. Trust me, someday you will think back and remember this moment. And then you will realize how true these words are. And want to know more of this infinite wisdom. Seriously though, I am just as confused by them as you are. I am just happy to find one that meets my humble list of requirements. (Someday this list will become public, probably after I find girlfriend version 4.3 and she is tricked into upgrading to wife 1.0)

Google-- Attempting world domination by simply owning all information in the known universe. Judging by the rampant increase in their stock price, they are well on their way. Like the Borg said, "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated!" Also the creators of the infamous Google Adsense program, where website owners can generate income through advertising. If you think this sounds interesting, get more info here....(The rest of you can read on in an uninterrupted manner.)

H

HOV -- High Occupancy Vehicle lane-- The lane that is for carpooling vehicles. Or basically any car with more than one person in it. In Utah people don't plan to be able to use it, it is just convenient when they can. Many people have probably wondered about ways to cheat the system. Here is what happened when one man used a "dummy" to get around faster.

Hijinks-- 1. A funny word. 2. A really funny word! Don't believe me? Go stand on your head in a crowded subway and start chanting hijinks over and over. You will not only get a lot of laughs, people might give you money. Or a free taxi ride to a psychiatric ward. As long as it is free, you don't care where the taxi goes.

I

Insanity -- Look around this Jasonpedia. You are surrounded by it. The best way to deal with this is to lose yourself in it, and find ways to add to it.

Investing -- Should be done by people trained to do such things. If you are going to ignore this advice, go after widgets. They are always a stable investment. Never going down in value. And in the "Jetson's" movie, they are somehow integral in future society. :)

J

Jackalope -- a cross between a jackrabbit and an antelope. Basically a jackrabbit with antlers, hatched from a undiscovered Easter egg. Generally inhabiting tourist traps in central North America, they are a rare species that have been nearly wiped out. This is due to the increasing popularity of jackalope hunting permits, and ever growing numbers of plastic easter eggs. UPDATE: Erin has pointed out a most interesting facet of jackalopes. They are supposed to be a jackrabbit/antelope mix. But they all appear to have deer antlers. Apparently the rabbits have been getting around, and nobody dares tell the antelope the truth... Or maybe Santa's reindeer... ----well, let's not start spreading vicious rumors---- :)